So today I've been freaking out. I'm having one of my "episodes" as i call it, today. Where I'm feeling down, lazy, my anxiety is high, i feel so restless and there are so many things going on in my life that i don't want to deal with. Dealing with depression and anxiety is enough already, and then adding things on to it just makes my whole world crumble down into little tiny pieces that i wish i could stomp on and make them disappear. My family always jokes about how there is a black cloud on top of my family and every day that i live it makes me think the cloud just gets bigger and darker. Once one thing goes wrong then everything else just comes tumbling down along with it and everything just slaps you in the face at the same time. And lately no matter what i do or don't do i still have that feeling inside my stomach that makes me almost feel sick and then the pains in my chest start and then my whole body goes crazy because i can't control my thoughts and no matter how hard i try and think about something else my mind will automatically go back to freaking out and then i explode.
I guess i just have a hard time controlling my anxiety. No matter what i do it creeps up behind me and finds my nerves and attacks. My thoughts just go around in circles in my head and it makes me feel so scared and i have so many other feelings that i can't even begin to describe.
They just take over my body and control me.
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